Grief affects each of us in different ways — and it comes in many forms. We grieve when someone we love dies, of course, but mourning is not limited to that scenario. The losses we endure can relate to jobs, homes, relationships, and more. All of these experiences are painful but any loss that’s sudden and unexpected can be traumatic.

We cannot know for sure what will happen next in our lives. Thus, we learn to live with a fair amount of uncertainty. Even so, there are times when we feel blindsided and the impact is life-altering, e.g. traumatic grief.

The Trauma of a Sudden Death

For the purposes of this post, the focus will be on the loss of a loved one. But again, there are other reasons why traumatic grief.

The specific details of the death can play a major role in causing traumatic grief. Such circumstances include but are not limited to:

Any type of crime — especially homicide
A sudden medical crisis
Accidents
Overdoses
Suicide

In these and other situations, you may be a witness. Or perhaps you’re the one who had to make important decisions about the deceased person. But even without direct involvement, a traumatic death is one you just could not have seen coming.

Possible Aftereffects of a Traumatic Death

Intrusive thoughts
Self-blame
Guilt that you weren’t there to help
Denial
Dissociation
Complicated and/or prolonged grief
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

Common Symptoms of Traumatic Grief

Of course, things can get rather unpredictable but here are some universally observed red flags to watch for:

Flashbacks
Emotional numbness — avoiding any reminders of the death
Sleep disturbances (including nightmares)
Angry outbursts
Feeling anxious and afraid about what might happen next
Digestive problems, like nausea and loss of appetite
Classic anxiety symptoms, e.g. shallow breathing, muscle aches and weakness, dry mouth, and more

While all of the above may be present in anyone in mourning, traumatic grief will often intensify these symptoms to an extreme degree.

Coping With the Shockwave of Sudden Loss

Besides getting support from an experienced professional, there are powerful self-help steps you can take to address the fallout of traumatic loss. For example:

Acceptance

What you feel is not uncommon or shameful. Any kind of sudden shock is a major challenge for everyone. Acknowledge and honor your emotions and your needs.

Resist the Urge to Suppress Painful Emotions

On one level, it sounds logical to distract yourself and refuse to think about the loss. This can be helpful in small doses but your emotions cannot be ignored. Find trusted friends and family members who will listen. Look into support groups. Try journaling as a method of healthy release.

Routines Can Be Calming

An expected death can throw your life into chaos. As you work to deal with a flood of emotions, slowly reintroduce some normal rhythms into your life. The structure can counterbalance the uncertainty you’re feeling.

Self-Care is Fundamental

Don’t let any of the following be forgotten or neglected:

Healthy eating habits
Regular sleep patterns
Daily physical activity or exercise
Stress management
Connecting with loved ones

Treating Traumatic Grief

A trauma-informed therapist is the ideal guide in a time like this. They can tailor a treatment plan to your particular needs to help you:

Manage symptoms
Stabilize your emotions
Develop coping skills
Express your needs
Process the loss
Resolve trauma
Avoid prolonged complications of grieving

Over time, you can better understand your emotions, develop productive mourning rituals, and find meaning in the journey. If you’ve endured a sudden, traumatic loss of any kind, you’re not alone. I invite you to reach out to schedule a free and confidential consultation for grief counseling at your earliest convenience.

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The Shockwave of Sudden Loss: Understanding Traumatic Grief